one might say we're banned from that church
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
