we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize