i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
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