if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize
