Dude, I woke up at my ex's house. I am spooning her half naked roommate. There is a pizza on my shoulder. I need you to come pick me up.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
Randomize
