Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
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