I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Randomize