Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
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