I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
Houston, we have a squirter
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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