i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Randomize
