Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
