There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
