Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
I think I sprained my soul last night
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
