Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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