fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
Randomize
