Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
He uses pillows to masturbate.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Randomize