If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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