God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
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