I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
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