I molested 6 butterflies tonight
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
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