did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Randomize
