We should be called the Road Head Warriors
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Randomize
