if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
Randomize
