Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
