FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
