i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
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