Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
Randomize
