you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Randomize
