I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
