I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
Randomize
