Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
Randomize
