Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
We had sex on a dog bed..
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
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