What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
