Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize
