im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Randomize