we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
