His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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