xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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