This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Randomize
