I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Randomize
