In the future we'll all be gay
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
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