I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
I have post one night stand depression
Randomize
