everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
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