My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
Randomize
