Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
