I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Randomize
