I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
why does every cop we meet know your name?
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
