Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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