i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Randomize
