AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Randomize
