i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
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