i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Randomize
