from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
