how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Randomize
