i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
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