How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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