new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
Randomize
