I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
Randomize
