have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
should my penis look like a turkey
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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