We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Randomize
