What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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