do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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