My first STD was from a foam party
in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
