the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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