You're earring is so big in my mouth
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
Randomize
