I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize
