he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
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