To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
Randomize
