if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
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