So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
Randomize
