Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
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