Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
Randomize
