Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
Randomize
