dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
Randomize